She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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