Rock
Scissors
Fuck
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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