I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
