fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
