So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
