even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And then my night got REAL pukey
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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