Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
