If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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