Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
