He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
