No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
