I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
