Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
