Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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