went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
