I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
