im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
