somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
3 2 1 whiskey
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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