apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My breasts were aching with rage.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
