why didn't you poke me back
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
