Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
