I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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