She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
