take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
