What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
