You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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