I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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