forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
