i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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