So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
