Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
