His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
