she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
