Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
