Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wear drunk well.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
