I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
