all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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