I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
