I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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