And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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