i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
