I'm lost and stupid without you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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