I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
