I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
