from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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