so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
