We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
