He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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