You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
