does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
