It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
