Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize