soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry about my life...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
