he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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