Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
