Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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