well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
