My nipple is on Facebook.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
