4 words: hood of his car
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
