hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
