So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
