I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
